Celiac in a Bakery

Most days I wake up and ask myself, "Why am I working in a bakery? I have Celiac, I can't eat anything there. Does it even matter if I go in?"

Every night when I come home, those questions are answered. Back in October, I had dropped out of college. I couldn't handle it anymore. I had a professor who wouldn't understand my mental health situation, I was struggling to find myself; I could not take it anymore. On a day I should have been at school, I went to my family's favorite bakery to get my mom some eclairs, since it was parent-teacher conferences that week. 

While I was waiting for the order, I began talking with a worker. I was in a stupid shirt, sweat pants, a beanie, a raggy coat, and above all things, I hadn't showered that day. I was telling this worker of my mom's forever dream to work in this bakery. Throughout the conversation, she offered me a job. I didn't take it seriously at first, but as I was leaving, she said "But seriously, if you want a job, I'm the hiring manager." I thought to myself "What the crap just happened?" I've had trouble finding jobs and finding the desire to keep them. And out of the blue I was just offered a job through simple conversation. I went back and horribly put an application together, the next thing I knew, I was becoming head dishwasher.

Throughout these months of working at the bakery, I kept asking myself if this is something I wanted to stick with, or if it was just another job. I've always wanted a music degree, but for the longest time I've felt like it just isn't the right time. I've always had a passion for cooking and baking, but never thought I'd actually become a baker. I was the dishwasher and took great pride in my work. 

I had a few rough months at the start of my job. My brother passed away after Christmas, my ex-boyfriend left me alone an hour away from home, I had been moved instruments in my drumline, I had to move out; things just never seemed to go my way. As I look back, I think of the rough times, which remind me of the best times. I was very quiet when I started this job. I didn't talk much and really only stayed in my little bubble. As I began to branch out, I seemed to have found a family. One that I could never replace.

To begin with, I had a hard time feeling "at home." My parents have been struggling, which is a struggle for me, as well. One night when I went to work, there was a lady who I saw, but never really talked to. Jayme. Little did I know this woman would become my best friend and one of my role models. Jayme and I began talking, and little by little, we opened up to each other. She took care of me. I called in and needed someone to cover my shift, and she told me to go home and not worry about it. I couldn't believe someone would be so nice to do that for me. Of all people, I felt I didn't deserve that treatment. Over these past few months, Jayme has become a safe haven. Her girls are great and I finally started to feel like I could be myself. Jayme always encouraged me, brought me up when I was down, and continuously told me how amazing I am. She does that to this very day, and she is family to me.

In the midst of working on what has now become a career, I found someone who seemed to have fallen into my life and saved me when I needed it most. It was "ratchet sunday" and I had never met this girl before. In my religion, it's not a belief that same-sex relationships are part of the eternal plan. This is something I have always struggled with. But as a I got to know Lexi, things really began to fall into place. Someone was finally taking care of me. I felt like my whole life I've never had the chance to sit back and relax, but with her, she let me. In fact, she makes me. A week ago, we were in a quite unfortunate car accident. I was driving and rear ended a car. I was going about 50 MPH on impact. I am still amazed that we are alive. I bring this up for a few reasons, and this is what they are.

Previous to our accident, my manager had pulled me aside and promoted me to a baker. I was so excited. I had finally done it! I achieved my goal. My career was moving along. Along with my excitement, I also took this promotion for granted. I took my job, my life, and everything else for granted. I was so excited for a night out with Lexi, I was just driving too fast to the theater. In that moment of impact, moments before, I knew we were going to hit the car. I didn't know how bad. I didn't know if we'd live. But I immediately ran out of the car, pulled Lexi out, and called 911. We were lucky. Extremely lucky. I cried and cried. When we finally got home, I called my coworkers, knowing I was going to be in too much pain to work. Throughout the next few days, I had continuous text messages and phone calls from my coworkers to see how we were.

When I went back into work on Monday, I was hugged by everyone. I saw Jayme that Wednesday, and I could tell how scared she was. She told me about the conversation between her and my manager, and they couldn't even bare the thought of losing me. This really hit me. I had to stop and think "Why are they in so much pain?" It took me a few hours to understand. I went to see my car, and it all hit me. A close friend of mine had passed away a few days prior, and I thought to myself "I could be the one in a casket." Words cannot describe my gratitude that I am still living and all of those who have helped me through it.

Although I was sore from the accident, I began my training as the new frycook. It was a long and stressful process, but I was learning. As the days have gone by, I may not make perfect doughnuts. I may not say all of the right things or handle life the best. I got in a car accident, and it was just that. An accident. I am proud to say that I was not on my phone, wasn't on my radio, I had full attention to my driving. I come home tonight with so much gratitude and appreciation for this job, for the new family I have made, and for what I thought was going to be just another job, but has turned into a career.

I have a lot of customers ask me how I can work in a bakery with Celiac Disease. It's a simple answer. "I love it." When you see the smile on someone's face after you make a joke, or they get excited about how awesome their cake looks. Or just the simple act of listening to a customer when they've had a hard day. I couldn't imagine what it would be like if I hadn't applied to this bakery. My life is anything but normal, and to give you a taste of what that's even like, begin with this.

I am a Celiac working in a bakery. I may not always make a perfect doughnut, just as we may not live perfect lives, but it doesn't mean we can't make it a great one.