Life: The Unexpected

In life,
I've come to realize that we never really do expect the unexpected.
We seem to be in the most ideal and right situation, how could it go wrong?
We worked hard for something, and continue to work hard, but yet, what has gone wrong?
For the longest time, I've listened to the voice in the back of my head.
"You're not good enough."
"They're right, maybe you would be better off dead."
"Is this the right choice?"
Tonight, I am here to say, enough is enough.

I have fought my whole life for what I believe in. I don't run away. I don't just quit. I can't say that I've never given up on something, because we all have. There comes a point where there is no fight left in us. We've given it our all and even though we want to go down with a fight, sometimes we just have to go down gracefully. 
I'm not here to say to quit fighting. I'm not here to say to give up. Life throws curveballs at us that don't always make sense. And it hurts. Like hell. We swung our bat at what we thought was the perfect moment, but the ball moved at the last second. Leaving us there at the plate, distraught, and confused. We were ready.
I was ready. I was motivated. This was going to be my semester. This was going to be my year. Then, I started listening to the voices again. "Maybe this isn't my year." And on a side note, this post has been inspired by someone else's words, and I wanted to put it in my own. 
Life hasn't always come easy for me. It doesn't come easy for all of us. What we're willing to fight for is what makes us who we are. How we respond, our choices, our friends. Every aspect of our life makes us who we are. Whether it be good or bad, it doesn't always mean it's permanent. 
These past few days have been rough. I didn't know I could cry so much. When I was left with a choice, one of the hardest choices that has ever come my way, I could not find what to expect out of either decision. What I love was being taken from me. I wanted to go down with a fight. I want to say "Get the hell out of my way, I can do this." But that is not always how it ends. And it sucks.

So, tonight, I've made a decision, one I never thought I'd make, and say enough is enough.
Enough with the hurt.
Enough with the drama.
The pain.
The confusion.
It's no longer worth a fight I'm bound to lose. 
It is not in my best interest to fight what has already been done.
And for those of you who know me, you may ask if I've given up. No, I haven't. There comes a point in our lives where we have to stand up for ourselves. That may mean standing up to someone, saying something that needs to be said, or simply just doing what is best for ourselves. Standing up for yourself doesn't mean you have to end things with a fight. It doesn't mean you have to spend days and weeks trying to justify what your decision is. Standing up for yourself is making the decision to let yourself be happy. To let go of what's holding you back, and move onto something much greater.
It may be the hardest thing you'll ever have to do. It may mean leaving friends who you love. Leaving a place that you once loved. And finding a better place and better people to live in your happiness,
The happiness that everyone in this life deserves.

It's not easy to walk away. 
It's not easy to say enough is enough.
It's so much easier to let these things bring you down. To let someone win. To give up. It is so much easier to let ourselves live in a false happiness.
But in the end.. who are you?
Will you be able to say that you took a stand?
Will you be able to tell your story of how you became happy?
What you've accomplished?
What you've conquered?
So, yeah, it is easy to just take the easy route. Just live by what everyone else expects you to do.
But.
What if you do the unexpected? What if you say no? What if you do stand up for yourself?
People are going to assume that you'll listen. That they have these strings tied to you and you'll follow their every command. And that, is not me. I live my life to do the unexpected. I am here to conquer. Not to be defeated. 
I had the choice of doing the expected, or doing the unexpected. Something came my way that I wasn't ready for. I wasn't ready for this curveball, but then again, are we ever really ready? 
I'm ready to stand up for myself.
I'm ready to say this is enough.
Tonight, I'm ready to go to bed and know that tomorrow, I will do the unexpected. There are no strings tied on me. Nor will there ever be.
Tonight, I made one of the hardest decisions I will ever have to make. 
And that decision, was entirely,
unexpected.