Nightmares

Nightmares.

The one thing that keeps us up on the nights we need sleep the most.

We toss,

and turn,

sometimes we cry.

It may be about our big job interview coming up,

the concert we're supposed to play at in two days.

But nightmares are not just dreams.

Nightmares are many things.

They are the reality of life,

the fear of living,

even the hell some of us have to live with such as depression, or some other mental disorder.

Nightmares can consume us to the point where we can't get out of bed.

Some of us carry on as if we aren't living a nightmare,

that we didn't spend the whole night crying, doing everything we could to sleep.

Some of us live in a nightmare.

A hell that not everyone can understand.

A nightmare can taunt you,

follow you,

it can become you.

Nightmares are the voice inside your head saying,

"You'll never make it."

"You're just a disappointment."

Nightmares are the things we never imagined would happen to us.

We look at others and say "Thank god that isn't me."

Well. 

Sometimes that person is you.

You are the one living that nightmare that people are looking at.

A nightmare challenges you.

It feeds off of your fears in the night,

the day,

your every thought.

Some of you out there,

if you're even reading this,

may be living in a nightmare that you don't know how to shake.

You feel like you can't find that sword and take it down.

Whether it be dreams,

reality,

or it has consumed your every being.

Every person's nightmare in life is different.

My nightmare?

Never being good enough.

But on this Friday morning after horrifying nightmares in my sleep,

I have come to realize that this is not me.

This nightmare,

these worries,

are not me.

They are not my life.

Nor are they yours.

So, grab a cup of chamomile tea,

kick back,

turn on some Netflix,

and tell yourself,

this is not me.

Why waste energy on something that you can, but also can't control?

You can control the things you do to take the stressors in your life away,

but that doesn't mean you can control your financial situation,

or even a relationship.

A nightmare can be anything to anyone.

To me:

A nightmare is a challenge waiting to be beaten down.

Tonight, I'm conquering my nightmare by writing.

How will you defeat it?